THE SUPER AUGUST FASHION WISHLIST

Published in time for September Vogue, is the Super August wishlist: a list of the ten must-haves of the year! VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK.

IN MY AUGUST WISHLIST:

a blue Mickey-Mouse t-shirt

this memento whatevershit dude bag from the eighties

penis socks for your boyfriend

Grandpapa cardigan to wear to work

rainbow beanie for casual Wednesdays

the blue bowler hat

this blue grandpapa cardigan

the blue one for slick Thursdays

all-around blue cap

basic blue t-shirts to wear on rotation

CLOSET QUEENS DON'T MAKE MY DAY!

I've seen his ego in action. Macho spinster stole his heart away

I've seen him in action; humping and dumping like hot shit umpf-ed on Demerol.

I've seen them cloisterfucks do cartwheels one on top of the other. They never stop. That's because they don't know how to.

They tend to stretch the limits of tehr imagination-s. Observe how they make up for their "lack of interest" via DOTA.

He will never submit himself to the woes of bureaucrats...never because "he ain't cool like that". See how he fondles his $$$50,000 testicles in class?

They're size queens since birth. I've had friends obsess about the length of their penises, tell me how frequent they masturbate, and brag about how many gallons of semen they've ejaculated over the years. It's disgusting.

--and women are stupid.

Why love "it", when "it" won't love you in return? Better do a double take on your gay sweet-heart.

Vans of the Eighties

The Teig is losing it.

His ass wants a pair of those.

They're from the eighties.

All the way dowwwwwn to the eighties

If you have them, buzz me.

tata bitches!

Piggies for Humanity

Do I look like shit or what?

I've had the disease-from-Mexico since Friday.

My left nostril is snot central. My unholy ass has grown three times the size of Menopausal Wintour's nose. And my lips...jesus, talk about lipgross.

(Robe, Lanvin vintage/ Shirt by analog soul)

MY BODY IS SWOLLEN AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE PIG! THE PIG! THE PIG! THE PIG!

Fat assed horders who feast on proh-vencial grass. I hate them like anything.

Ima kill them.

VINTAGE (LOOKING) GALORE--T-shirts and then some

Elegance is not the prerogative of those who have just escaped from adolescence, but of those who have already taken possession of their future

--Coco Chanel

Dearest Coco,

I do not believe in elegance; I believe in grunge.

Till forever,

Teig